Grieving — My adoption story

Last Sunday (March 3) I mentioned that I hope to have some good news to share with you soon.  Well…

No good news (at least not yet).

We did travel to Florida on Sunday and Monday.
We did meet a baby girl that was born on Monday.
We did spend quality time with the birth mother and her family.

But…

We did not come home with a baby girl :(

The birth mother, at the last second, decided she couldn’t sign off and decided to parent the baby.  Needless to say my wife and I were devastated.  I told people before we left that nothing was final yet; that the birth mother still could change her mind.  I knew this, but a large part of me still fully expected to come home with a baby girl. I think a lot of people did.

The drive home from Florida was extremely long.
Lots of tears were shed.
Lots of questions were asked.
Lots of quiet moments were experienced.
But through it all, the one thing that gave and continues to give my wife and I hope and strength is the love and grace of our awesome God.  We have seen this through the love of our family and friends.  We have heard this through scripture and prayer.  We have felt this in the warm embrace of a hug.  God is good…all the time…even though we do experience heartache from time to time.

I don’t blame God for any of this.  I am not angry with God for the heartache my wife and I are experiencing.  Rather…I am joyful that we are not going through this alone.  We know that God will bring healing…AND…that God will use this to bring Him glory.  And THAT is exciting.

My hope and prayer is that I can grow stronger through this experience so I can better help people who are grieving in any way.  I have experienced heartache and grieving before but nothing like this.

I still believe there is a child out there…somewhere…waiting for us.
I still believe that I will be a father someday. So in the mean time we will move forward and continue to pursue our dream to be parents someday.  We pray for the birth mother as she parents this little baby girl. We pray for healing and wisdom. We pray for strength. Satan will not use this to drive a wedge between me and God.

And…hopefully, soon, I will have good news to share with you. Thank you for your love, prayers and support.

Praise be to God!

The pastor -|—

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9 responses to “Grieving — My adoption story

  1. Oh, Eric. I’m so sorry to hear about this outcome. So disappointing and heartbreaking. :(

    I’m standing with you and Connie in prayer, and asking God to fill you up with His joy in the midst of the pain, that His joy may be your strength. Please let me know if there’s anything more I can be doing to support the two of you at this time.

    Hugs,
    Stephanie

  2. This is so beautifully written and so very true. There is a baby out there for you and you will grow stronger because of this experience, no matter how heartbroken you are now. Big hugs and continued prayers to you and Connie!!!

  3. Patty Lu Holthe

    Dear Preacher Man, & Dear, Sweet Connie, Many Prayers are coming your way, and please know that you are both loved more than you can possibly know!!!!!!!

  4. PS anafterthought

    Oh dear. At least intellectually you were ready for this to happen. But the heart aches, still. I taught childbirth classes for 6 years, and most of the couples were there because of planned pregnancies. And I can tell you that there was a disconnect between the reality of knowing that they were pregnant and understanding the reality of being a parent. My reason for stating that is just to say that I can see why many new moms change their minds about not wanting to parent the baby. Once they see the baby……… In some ways, perspective adoptive parents may actually understand the reality of parenting just a bit better than the pg couples. The adoptive parents may have had their eyes and ears open longer. I pray that this new mom has lots of support in her life. And know that you are held in the arms of so many in your community. God bless you.

  5. heartofapastor

    Thank you. We do live in an amazing community. When someone is going through a hard time the community rallies around them.

  6. Difficult words to read, but I love how you show your faith. You are right, the glory is God’s. The two of you were blessed to meet this mother and her child, and to spend time with them was a gift. Who knows what God has planned but God? Yet we are God’s beloved children and God will continue to bless you and your wife beyond measure. You are in my prayers as the journey continues. May God be with you during every step.