The heart of a potential father – My adoption story

I tell you…this adoption journey has been an incredible faith journey.  The longer we wait the more fervent my prayers become. The more money we spend the more I turn to God for the faith to be patient and to trust. The more we prepare our home for a child the more excited I become.  The more I talk about this the more I wonder what kind of father I will be.

In my last post about my adoption story I mentioned that I was a little hesitant about diving in; which was the complete opposite of how my wife felt.  I worried about this or that.  I had a hard time with trying to figure out how we were going to pay for this.  I was nervous about some of the logistics. Now…I can hardly wait until the day that I can be referred to as dad.  Even to type that word, “dad”, seems strange when it refers to me.  There’s a part of me that thought that it would never happen.  And even though that part of me was saddened by that potential future I was starting to grow accustomed to it.  But now…I can’t imagine traveling another road; I can’t image a future where I am not called dad.

And that feeling; that confidence that God has chosen a child for us out there…somewhere…makes this an incredible faith journey.  I keep praying and asking God “When?“; “How long, O Lord? How long?“; “How will this be?”  I lift up my fears, questions, concerns; and eventually I feel this sense that God understands and gives me that comforting embrace that says, “Be patient my child; be patient“. It is something that I can’t adequately describe but maybe you know what I am talking about.

And maybe this wait is part of God’s plan in shaping me; in refining me; in preparing me for fatherhood (Wow…really strange to type “fatherhood”). Whatever the case, I can’t imagine going through this process without my relationship with God through Jesus.  I can’t imagine trying to navigate the plethora of paperwork and phone calls and planning and applications without God.  I can’t imagine trying to plan and figure out every last detail without the Holy Spirit’s guidance.  I can’t imagine not having God to lift my voice to.

So the waiting continues and this potential father is super excited.  My life will change in countless ways but I am so ready to face those countless changes.  As scary as it is going to be I am so ready to be called, “Dad”.

Praise be to God!

The pastor (and potential father) -|—

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One response to “The heart of a potential father – My adoption story

  1. PS anafterthought

    Wonderful, isn’t it. There is this interesting difference with adopting: it has to be so intentional. The “other way” may be intentional or accidental. There comes a point in the adoption journey when you become committed. That’s important, because theoretically, with adoption, you can back out. But now you don’t want to. God Bless you.