Fear and faithfulness – My adoption story

When my wife and I started the adoption process back  on June 28, 2012, I was scared silly as we were entering a world of unknowns.  My wife was ready to start this process a long time before I was.  I remember many times when she would bring it up but I wouldn’t give it much time in conversation.  I would find ways to divert the topic and hope it would end.

I knew it was expensive and that scared me.
I knew we didn’t have the money.
I knew it would be hard.
I knew it would forever change our lives.

But…

I also knew that I wanted to be a father.  I was caught between my fear and my dream.  I didn’t know what to do or how to proceed.  I was praying but I don’t think I was listening very well.

I don’t remember specifically what the turning point was but we finally dove in.  We decided on an agency that my wife found (God’s Children Adoption Agency) and off we went.  We met with one of the case workers and got the information we needed.  My wife immediately started the paper work and I started feeling more overwhelmed.

What have I gotten myself into? [I was still worried about money.]

The home study process started and things seemed to fall into place.  It wasn’t too long into the process that we received our first financial contribution from a friend.  Then our parents pledged support.  At the outset of this we had friends praying for us.  There were times when we would talk with these friends and they would end up gathering around my wife and I to pray.

It was overwhelming…but this time in a good way.

Now we are 6 months in and I am feeling like this has been God’s plan all along.  I still know that this will be a lot of money but I don’t worry about that anymore.  God has showed me over and over again that He has us covered.  Various financial gifts have come in; showing me that God is not going to leave us hanging.  God is faithful and always has been faithful.  There are still a lot of question marks but feeling that my hand is firmly in the grip of God’s hand is comforting.  We are not walking alone.  And I am so thankful for our wonderful family and our wonderful friends.  There is no way we could have gotten this far without them.  They are indeed a gift from God.

So we continue waiting; knowing that God has a little one out there waiting for us.  And when that child enters our home they are going to be so loved; not just by my wife and me but by our wonderful and supportive family and friends (including the congregations I serve).

Despite my fear God was faithful.  What an awesome God we have.

Thank you, God, for walking with us in this process.  Thank you for your faithfulness.  Thank you for calming my fears.  Thank you for your love.  In Jesus name, Amen.

The pastor -|—

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2 responses to “Fear and faithfulness – My adoption story

  1. PS anafterthought

    Two of our three children, all adults now, are adopted. Being a parent is both delightful and hard, but what isn’t, right? Like being a pastor is both. The neat thing about adoption is that it is a bit easier to be objective about the child’s traits. You can be openly proud of traits and talk about them, because you aren’t at “fault” for giving the little one that trait. My son, for example, was very athletic, which he obviously didn’t get from us, but it was wonderful to see, and I worked with his baseball team for 7 years, which was a great thing, as it would have never happened if we hadn’t adopted him. Sometimes I actually would forget that one of my kids was adopted, which seems strange. And other times, that two are adopted is a very important part of who they are. The one who isn’t adopted is a pastor. Well, that didn’t come with the genes either.
    I will be happy to follow your adoption story.

  2. heartofapastor

    Thank you for sharing. I so look forward to being able to share more of our adoption story as the year moves along :)